- Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. -
My wife and I have been married for almost eight years. When do most marriages end? Not all the studies agree, but they do all point to two distinct time periods.
Marriages are most at risk during the first two years or in years seven to eight. That puts me and Katie right in the middle of the most dangerous time in our relationship.
I can’t explain to you how much Katie and I still love each other. It almost feels wrong to write it that way.
It’s not like we preserved that love we shared when we were in our twenties. It’s as if we had no idea what it meant to love each other until yesterday, and that keeps happening.
Do we fight? Of course, we do. And boy howdy they can get loud. But they are rare, and we always end them with apologies and a plan.
We are not perfect, but we are always taking seriously how we can better love each other like the Bible calls us too.
Why the preamble about how great my marriage is? Well, my marriage is young, so why should you take my advice?
I guess maybe if I can honestly say the worst time statistically in my marriage is the best year in my marriage so far, maybe I’ve stumbled upon something worth doing.
It feels so trite to say it, but it’s true. Our culture is 1,000% geared towards making you regret getting married.
So how can you enjoy life with your wife?
A lot of people think this has something to do with finding the perfect person. I want to marry an attractive blonde, blue eyes, and knows how to cook.
This becomes a religious impulse. I have to find the perfect woman or man Jesus wants me to marry, else I will have ruined this most important relationship I only get one shot at!
Can I ask you something? Where did we get this idea? Was it from the Bible or Hallmark and Disney?
What I see time and time again in the Bible is rejoicing in who you marry and becoming a good wife or husband. Never does God say, “Wait until the model comes.”
What am I trying to say? Having a good marriage starts with you, not the other person. The sooner you learn that, dating or married, the sooner you will enjoy your marriage.
Sounds like a lie, right? We’ve been told a heap of lies about what marriage and happiness is. He completes me. She makes my life so vibrant. I never have to compromise who I am.
Marriage is losing yourself. It is two become one. It is the fading away of the individual and the creation of new life from the union of provision and potential.
Are you dating? Stop looking for the one, though that’s not permission to be a fool. Fall in love, and when in love, act the way God has commanded you to towards a spouse.
Are you married? Love your spouse and do so without expecting anything in return.
God will bless the couple that gives instead of takes.
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