- Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. -
I struggle with anger.
That’s not exactly true. In fact, I’m not an angry person. If anything, I let people take advantage of me more than I sin in my anger.
That’s not exactly true. I’m not an angry person in regard to the people I work with, my friends, and other acquaintances.
My struggle with anger affects the people I love most – my family.
Why the difference? That’s easy, nobody affects my happiness, nobody else lives in my house, nobody else means more to me than my family.
I can ignore people at work I don’t like or who pester me. If I do that to my wife, my peace and serenity at home are in serious jeopardy!
Yes, it’s sad that we allow the worst parts of our personalities to affect that what we cherish, but it also makes sense – the stakes are higher.
Dr. Peter Kreeft says that the opposite to love is not hate, rather it is indifference. A strange statement that does not fit our priors.
Does it make sense? On further reflection, we find ourselves able to love and hate the same person even in the same moment.
I can’t believe they would do this to me! Don’t they know I love them more than anything in the whole world? Why would they be so stupid!
Love and hate are powerful emotions. It is only when something we truly love is at stake that we can find the capacity to hate.
It is that which we are indifferent to that we pay no attention. We do not see it, and in our blindness, we assign its worth.
Anger is a energetic spirit. It does not sit still and reside. It moves like a fire, leading us into acts of passion, perhaps even destruction.
Our anger can also lead us to act in indifferent ways. Fine, if that’s the way that you want to be, then I’m leaving.
What are we saying? We are saying the other person’s actions have led us to no longer believe their existence is worth our attention.
We have learned to practice indifference towards them.
Anger is moving. When it lodges in your heart, it spreads that movement throughout you, willing you to enact its desires.
Have you ever been in an argument, said something you regret, and instantly say, “I don’t know what just came over me. That wasn’t me.”
What are you saying? That the angry spirit inside you won control over your tongue long enough to say its true desire.
Is it you speaking? Why yes of course it is. We all lie to some extent when we say that wasn’t me, but you are also making it clear that your worst inventions took over.
There’s some utility in that. There’s also some reason to be afraid in that moment. How did the worst voice take over?
If you let that anger stay, it will fester and tear your heart to pieces. It will take that which you love and treat it with scorn and derision.
Why? Because it knows you love it and wants it to perish to prove to you that indifference was better, that getting out of bed wasn’t actually worth it.
What might we do in defense of this great destroyer playing tag along?
Love – love everyone as yourself.
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