Ecclesiastes 3:4b-5
Crying, Dancing, Stones, and Hugs
- a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; -
I think the best way to understand the latter part of this verse is to compare it to the first half.
What is the difference between weeping and mourning? Between laughter and dancing?
Once we pose the question, I see a pattern. The former are impulsive while the latter are “planned” and contain the former.
For example, when you go to a funeral, must you weep? The answer is an obvious no.
Must you mourn?
How could you do otherwise? To go to a funeral is a decision to grieve with others. You can go disrespectfully, but even you will condemn yourself for your insensitivity.
The same thought process holds true for dancing. Rarely, do I dance impulsively. There must be music, or, in a poor manner, I’ll create my own.
Dancing, as we truly think of it, happens at events like weddings, proms, and dance classes.
Now, you can laugh while you dance, but you do not have to dance in order to laugh.
To summarize, dancing and mourning are organized activities that can contain both weeping and laughing respectively.
Although there are some social norms to abide by, most of us can laugh and weep when appropriate.
Can we mourn and dance appropriately, and why should we learn?
The answers are complicated yet simple. Do you not wish to be empathetic at a funeral? Do you not wish to delight your partner in a dance?
Are not all those a sign of love?
Do them then as an ambassador for the prime mover of love.
Let’s move on to verse 5. When I first read the part about stones, I thought this was a reference to stoning.
After reading several commentaries, I am happy to report it’s about building!
You might read it as to move on and a time to settle. It’s very similar to the end of verse 3 – to break down and to build up.
The difference might be found in the language for casting away and breaking down. Breaking denotes destroying a structure whereas casting is a more passive activity.
This is followed by a time to embrace and to refrain from embracing. Odd right?
Funny enough, I read this during the COVID-19 pandemic. Let’s just say the start of COVID was definitely not a time for embracing.
There are obvious times in our life when we should not hug one another, but there are obvious times where we must hug.
A father coming home from a long war, a family reuniting for the Holidays, popping your significant other’s back.
Yet, there are times when we must refrain. The language here invokes an idea of setting aside for something greater.
Is it good to share affection? Absolutely. Do we need to? Emphatically.
All good things come from God, and a Christian living in His power will have them abundantly.
That abundance includes knowing you have eternity to experience them.
May we be about His business, for soon we might embrace Him.